{"id":227,"date":"2016-08-10T10:51:31","date_gmt":"2016-08-10T14:51:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/voice.devinecreations.com\/?p=227"},"modified":"2019-02-24T10:19:18","modified_gmt":"2019-02-24T15:19:18","slug":"adventures-in-trumpland-vol-4","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/voice.devinecreations.com\/index.php\/2016\/08\/10\/adventures-in-trumpland-vol-4\/","title":{"rendered":"Adventures in TrumpLand, vol. 4"},"content":{"rendered":"

or<\/strong>
\nOrange Is The New Red.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Scene opens on the Trump campaign plane. Trump is at the table eating breakfast. He is reading the back of a Wheaties cereal box and chewing thoughtfully.  Paul Manafort walks into the scene.<\/p>\n

Manafort: We land in twenty minutes sir. <\/em><\/p>\n

Donald: Florida?<\/em><\/p>\n

Manafort: Yes. <\/em><\/p>\n

Donald: Ok this time lets get a picture of me playing golf. Lots of Presidents play golf.<\/em><\/p>\n

Manafort: Well, yes thats true – but they are on vacation when they do. <\/em><\/p>\n

Donald: Trump is always working and always on vacation. I’m Trump!<\/em><\/p>\n

Manafort: Yes of course. Shall I find a NFL player for you to beat?<\/em><\/p>\n

Donald changes the subject: The media is killing me over this baby thing. Does Megan have kids? <\/em><\/p>\n

Manafort: Megan Kelly — from Fox? <\/em><\/p>\n

Donald: Who else? Never mind, why is the media all over me about that noisy kid? <\/em><\/p>\n

Manafort stands mute. He knows by now that he is not expected to answer.<\/p>\n

Donald: Better yet, why isn’t the media talking to the mother? Like why aren’t they asking her about the kid’s nanny?<\/em><\/p>\n

Manafort: Nanny, sir?<\/em><\/p>\n

Donald: Yeah. Why didn’t she leave that kid with the nanny? <\/em><\/p>\n

Manafort: Uhh…<\/em><\/p>\n

Donald: It don’t matter – Melania and I have a plan. She loves kids you know.<\/em><\/p>\n

Manafort: Yes sir. I know she does.<\/em><\/p>\n

Donald: She called our Nanny and she is going to be at the next event.<\/em><\/p>\n

Manafort: Sir?<\/em><\/p>\n

Donald: Thats right, Lets see Crooked Hillary beat that! <\/em>
\nTrump makes a fake marquee with his hands:  Trump campaign provides free nanny service!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Manafort: Sir, your children are grown .. you still – does she still work for you?<\/em><\/p>\n

Donald: Well, Melania still has Nanny’s passport in our safe .. so yeah.<\/em><\/p>\n

Manafort: Her passport? <\/em>Manafort shakes his head: So, OK.  I would think its been years since … Nanny has cared for any children,..<\/em><\/p>\n

Donald: Nah ,, it;s like riding a bike. Besides how hard is it to mix whiskey, milk and a benedryl? <\/em><\/p>\n

Manafort giggles a nervous laugh.<\/p>\n

Donald: We’ll stack ’em up out where we park the limos. <\/em><\/p>\n

Manafort: This seems risky – you might lose someone’s child .. that might actually …. <\/em>Manafort stops talking. He has a blank look on his face as he imagines the campaign coming to an end.<\/p>\n

Donald: Stop worrying. We wont lose a kid. We’re gonna issue claim checks. You know like checking your coat at the restaurant. <\/em><\/p>\n

Manafort’s mouth moves but nothing comes out.<\/p>\n

Scene ends with “Hail to the Chief” playing over the plane’s intercom.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

or Orange Is The New Red. Scene opens on the Trump campaign plane. Trump is at the table eating breakfast. He is reading the back of a Wheaties cereal box and chewing thoughtfully.  Paul Manafort walks into the scene. Manafort: We land in twenty minutes sir. Donald: Florida? Manafort: Yes. Donald: Ok this time lets … Continue reading Adventures in TrumpLand, vol. 4<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":142,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-227","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-trumpland"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/voice.devinecreations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/227","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/voice.devinecreations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/voice.devinecreations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/voice.devinecreations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/voice.devinecreations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=227"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/voice.devinecreations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/227\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":454,"href":"https:\/\/voice.devinecreations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/227\/revisions\/454"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/voice.devinecreations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/142"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/voice.devinecreations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=227"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/voice.devinecreations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=227"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/voice.devinecreations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=227"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}