Because Donald Trump wants to Make America Great Again™
he often gets letters and emails sent to him seeking his advice.
Mr. Trump has graciously allowed us to reprint them here.
Do you have a question for Mr. Trump? Tweet them to @dearDJT
Dear Mr. Trump,
I am more than just a little bit angry at the way you are being treated by the Lame stream media. It seems like no matter what you do they fail to see the tremendousness of your abilities. Don’t these people understand that your talent and brains are a rare huge thing? It’s no wonderment to me that these newspapers and TV shows are all failing. It’s sad. They are loserish people.
Sincerely
John Miller – Publicist to the stars.
Dear John,
I couldn’t agree more. I have dedicated my entire fantastic life building my wealth and amassing beauty like my fabulous wife Melania. Oh she’s beautiful isn’t she? I’d like to see that little pipsqueak George Stephanopoulos land a dame like her. Or Anderson Cooper, whats wrong with that guy anyways? He’s pretty good looking why isn’t he married by now? Well maybe once I’m president I can introduce him to my guy. This guy, I’m tellin’ you. He’s got the broads man. Anyways, as I was saying, I have amassed all this money, good looking kids, tremendous wife all so I can be the President of the U.S.A. Sacrifice after sacrifice and you think these news people could climb down offaa my ass for ten minutes or so once in a while. But NOoooo, on top of that you got those smart ass comics .. don’t get me started. Thanks for the letter.
Yours tremendously
Donald J. Trump
Dear Mr. Trump
You have such nice children. I am righting to you to ask you how it is that your kids are so freakin nice? Me? I got five kids (really four, but that fifth one is a hole other story.) Well anyways I have five kids and everyone of them is an enormous pain in my posterior let me tell you. I work hard to make a living so that they have nice stuff and all and they still all end up in trouble. Not big trouble mind you, just guy stuff like waving an automatic rifle around and beating up a girlfriend or two. My daughter can’t seem to keep her panties on and keeps getting knocked up. It’s embarrassing as I am a pillow of the community and am held to a higher standard. I suspect folks are laughing behind my back down at the bait shop. Do you have any advice for me?
Thanks
Sarah P.
Alaska
Dear Sarah,
Send me a picture of your daughter.
Yours hugely,
Donald J. Trump
Dear Mr. Trump
I have been meaning to contact you for some time. I am a hard worker and am currently out of work. I would like to apply for a job on your deportation force. I have my own truck and a .410 shotgun. Well the shotgun is my daddy’s but I can use now since the arther-rit-us has got him laid out most of the time. My wife can help with the sewing and such for the uniforms. What do you think?
Your’s at that ready.
Billy Bob J.
Corncob Mountain, Tennessee.
Dear Billy Bob,
Send me a picture of your wife.
Yours fantastically,
Donald J. Trump
Do you have a question for Mr. Trump? Tweet them to @dearDJT