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Scene opens inside the Trump campaign airplane. They are at cruising altitude somewhere over Texas traveling south towards Trump’s historic meeting with Mexico President Enrique Pena Nieto in Mexico city,
Donald is wearing a golden sombrero and eating his favorite Mexican meal, Taco Bell #6 in preparation for this critical diplomatic mission.

Steve Bannon, Melania Trump and Gary Busey sit sedately in the passenger compartment contemplating the upcoming events.

Busey: Hey Donnie, do have any more hot sauce? I got screwed again. Why do they only give you one packet per taco?

Donald: Shut up Gary.

Bannon: So – what do you say Donald? I should stay on the plane. Right? In case there is any funny business?

Donald: No, you go with Melania. She wants to shop. While you are out there see if you can get me some Coke. 

Bannon’s eyes widen: Coke?

Donald: Yeah, I like those little glass bottles, they make them with real sugar there.

Bannon groans: OK boss, if you say so.

Melania: It’ll be fun. I need some shoes.

Bannon: Jews?

Melania: Shoes.

Bannon: Jews? In Mexico?

Melania raises her voice: Shoes – shoes, shoes!!

Bannon: Ok,  Bannon mumbles to himself: Jews – gonna be a quick trip.

Donald’s phone trills. He answers it: You’re on for Trump.

Voice over the phone. Mr. Trump! It’s Kellyanne Conway … your campain manager.

Donald: Oh hey Kellyanne hows it going?

Kellyanne: Well lets see, I just woke up to discover that my candidate is on his way out of the country, on his way to Mexico!  Is there a reason why you didn’t discuss this with me?

Donald grins: We are letting Trump be Trump!

Kellyanne : I need to remind you Mr. Trump that most of Mexico hates you. President Nieto has called you Hitler.

Donald: I don’t believe those rigged polls. Mexicans love me. Haven’t you listened to any of my speeches?

Kellyanne: You have called them murderers and rapists. They don’t like that.

Donald: That wasn’t me. That was Primary Trump – totally different guy.

Kellyanne. I’m not sure they understand the difference Mr. Trump. I’m worried about your safety.

Donald: No worries, I’ve got that covered.

Kellyanne: Certainly I am glad that the secret service is with you, but I’m still worried.

Donald: Kellyanne, I’m Trump. I have an ace in the hole.

Kellyanne: Ace?

Donald: Yes, right now Donald Jr. has Charlie Villanueva,  the famous Mexican basketball player, sitting in our offices. Once I’m back in the air after my historic, hugely important meeting with Nieto we will turn him loose.

Kellyanne: So he’s like your hostage?

Donald:  I wouldn’t use that word. See, Kellyanne that’s why you will never sit in this chair. I make deals – big deals. You should read my book. I’ll get you a copy – it’s a number one ..

Kellyanne interrupts Donald: Mr. Trump.

Donald: .. bestseller. It’s yugge…

Kellyanne raises her voice: Mr. Trump!!

Donald: What?

Kellyanne:  I just googled Charlie Villanueva. He is not Mexican, he was born in America and his family is actually from the Dominican Republic.

Donald: So? He’s of Mexican heritage. Don’t get all PC on me now when I’m being Trump. Wait’ll you see the numbers after this kiddo!

Kellyanne: Not Mexican! The Dominican Republic! It’s a totally different country – in the Caribbean.

Donald chuckles: Oh yeah .. I went there years ago. Not with .. Donald lowers his voice: …not with Melania.. I think it was Marla. That place was hot, really hot. No wonder its failing .. losers.

Kellyanne: Still not Mexico.

Donald ponders this and drinks from his extra large plastic TacoBell cup, we hear the drink bottom out and Trump shakes the ice: Nah, it wont make a difference. Nieto wont dare make a move while I have one of their famous athletes in my offices.

Kellyanne says exasperated: He’s not Mexican!

Donald: Not right now Kellyanne. But by the end of the day America won’t believe that. Check Wikipedia later this morning. He’ll be a Mexican citizen by noon.

Kellyanne: Mr. Trump — that’s awful.

Donald: Not awful, presidential! Don’t forget the NDA you signed Kellyanne. It’s the art of the deal.

Scene ends with a mariachi band playing “Hail to the Chief”

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Scene opens in the Trump Tower boardroom.

Donald sits at the head of the table sporting his patented  “Master of the Universe” scowl.  He is wearing a dark suit, white shirt and a metallic blue Trump tie that is pulled up sharply to his closely shaven neck.  Others around the table include Ivanka Trump, Steve Bannon, Kellyanne  Conway and Gary Busey.  Busey is wearing a bicycle helmet. Kellyanne is busily typing away on her laptop.

Kellyanne: Say Mr. Trump, did you have a .. what was the name of your first pet?

Donald: Hrummp.

Ivanka: Daddy gets grumpy about that sort of thing. He wanted a cat when he was young but Grampa Fred ate …

Donald interrupts Ivanka : Lets get down to business.

Bannon: Before we start, what’s Busey doing here?

Ivanka: Gary is Daddy’s support animal.

Donald: Don’t worry about it Steve.  Nice shorts by the way, I suppose you’re the one wearing patchouli?

Kellyanne stands up in shock: Gee Willakers! Who’s this?
She bends over and grabs Roger Ailes by the ear and drags him up from under the table. Mr. Trump! I thought we discussed this.
Kellyanne stamps her perfect size 3 shoe on the floor.

Donald: He’s not hurting anyone. Come over here Roger.

Kellyanne: Oh really? Whats he doing under the table then? You know I went on that nice woman Rachel Maddow’s talk show and I told her that Mr. Ailes was not working on this campaign.

Donald: And he’s not. I’m not paying him. Nothing! I make the best deals I tell you. That reminds me, I meant to ask you – did you ask her my question? 

Kellyanne: No, I didn’t. I’m quite certain that she won’t wear a Trump tie on her show.

Donald: What? She wears Seinfeld’s puffy shirt but not my tie? No wonder her show is failing.

Ivanka whispers: Not failing.

Roger slips into his chair and pulls a collapsible megaphone out of his pocket: Psst little girl

Kellyanne: Mr. Trump!

Ailes: Have you seen my dog? Will you help me find …

Kellyanne swings her purse roundhouse style and knocks Ailes off his chair. She jumps on his back and starts pounding him.

Busey: Hey Donnie, that nice lady is beating Mr. Hitchcock up.

Donald: Shutup Gary
Trump points at Kellyanne and Ailes rolling around on the floor: Ivanka .. stop this – we have work to do.

Ivanka leans over and maces Ailes.  Ivanka helps Kellyanne off the floor and hands her the mace.
Here, better keep this in your purse. Also Kellyanne ..
Ivanka grabs her shoulders and looks Kellyanne in the eyes:
Don’t forget, you signed a NDA.  That fucker’s airtight .. I oughta know.

Busey: When are we gonna eat, Donnie? You said there’d be pancakes.

Kellyanne returns to her seat and says slowly: I know what will be fun, lets all go around and say what the name of our high school was. I’ll start. Brookfield High School.  You go next Mr. Bannon

Bannon: I went to David Duke High School.

Ivanka whispers : It’s not gonna work Kellyanne. He’ll just have that Russian guy hack the password again.

Kellyanne whispers back: Gosh darn it.

Kellyanne sighs: Ok, Mr. Trump. .. Mr. Trump I’ve seemed to misplaced the twitter password again. … silly me

The intercom on the table buzzes: Doctor Bornstein is here sir.

Donald: Send him in.

Voice over the intercom: I’m sorry sir, he wants fifty dollars first.

Donald: Do we have any of that that Trump champagne out there?

Dr. Bornstein’s voice comes over the intercom. No way – I want real money this time. Your caviar gave my dog the shits for three days.

Donald chuckles: Come on in, Ivanka’s got fifty on her don’t you sweetheart?

Ivanka sighs and starts pulling folded up dollar bills out of her bra as Bornstein walks through the door.

Donald: Doctor Bornstein sit down this won’t take long.

Kellyanne pulls a sheet of paper out of her briefcase : Doctor Bornstein we have a report here that we would like you to sign.

Bannon: Bornstein? That’s Jewish ain’t it?

Bornstein snaps his fingers at Ivanka, she drops the money in front of him.  Kellyanne hands him a pen and the report.

Bornstein reading the report: What’s this?  I don’t think you can get anyone to believe this part about a stallion.

Ivanka: Daddy!

Bornstein: Hannity maybe. He’d believe it I suppose but …

Kellyanne pulls out another sheet of paper and slides it over to the doctor: Try this one.

The doctor signs it and stands up to leave.

Busey: Wait! Come on man – say it.

Bornstein: Say what?

Busey: Oh come on man, I love that movie.

Bornstein: I don’t have time for this. I have an Uber waiting downstairs.

Busey lowers his voice: “That rug really tied the room together.”

Bornstein blinks at Busey: What?

Busey is awestruck: Wow the Dude and Alfred Hitchcock. You really do know a lot of famous people Donnie.

Donald: Shut the fuck up Gary.

Busey: No not that line!

Bannon’s phone starts ringing, he searches through fifteen different pockets in his cargo pants looking for it.

The scene fades as we hear the sounds of “Dixie” coming from Bannon’s phone.

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Scene opens in the Trump bedroom. Donald and Melania are laying in a very large bed trimmed in gold. The headboard reads TRUMP. Melania is sleeping quietly on her back, she has her eyes covered by a sleep mask, her face is lathered in face cream. Donald is binge watching “The West Wing.”
He shakes his head and mumbles to himself: Why are they walking in circles all the time?

Melania stirs: Mmm?

Donald pats her hip: Ssh, sorry.

Donald’s face turns into a sneer: That Josh Lyman – what a smartass. Once I’m in office I’m gonna hire that guy just so I can fire him.

Donald’s cell phone rings, he answers:  You’re on for Trump!

Voice on phone: Donnie?

Donald: Whosis?

Voice: It’s Gary. Gary Busey.

Donald: Hmm. Your number is blocked.

Busey: Yeah, I blocked it .. you know for security.

Donald: Security?

Busey: Yeah, you had the CIA briefing today. Right?

Donald: Uhm .. I guess.

Busey: You guess?

Donald: Well, they took me to some building downtown – didn’t even blindfold me. Pfft.

Busey: Huh.

Donald: Plus, Jack wasn’t there.

Busey: What?

Donald: Yeah. I said where’s Jack Bauer? They played stupid for a while and then told me he was on assignment overseas.

Busey: Sounds fishy.

Donald: Yeah, They had good donuts though. Mighta been from Dunkin’

Busey asks excitedly: So, whadja find out?

Donald: Area 51? It’s totally real. Once I’m President I can go out there anytime I want. They said I can bring one guest.

Busey: Omagod, omagod, omagod – your’e gonna take me right?

Donald: Well, I don’t know Gary — once I’m president I’ll have to live my life a lot more seriously.

Busey groans.

A uncomfortable silence stretches out.  Donald wiggles his toes at the end of the bed and then smiles wickedly to himself:  Ha – I’m just kiddin’ you – I’m Trump. Hey, maybe we can have your birthday party out there!

Busey laughs nervously: Ha – Ok, good one.  You got me – how about the other?

Donald: The King? Nah, they wouldn’t talk about it. Big friggin’ secret.

Busey: I knew it!

Donald: Don’t you worry though. Once I’m in office they’ll tell me. Or else.

Busey: It’s been so long ..

Donald: He’s still alive. I just know it. Elvis Presley sure didn’t die sitting on the toilet. That’s for sure. We’ll get to the bottom of ..

Donald’s phone buzzes and he holds it out so he can see the incoming number : Oops. Gotta another call Gary. I gotta go.

Donald taps his phone: You’re on for Trump!

Voice speaking Russian

Donald: English man. Paul gets that gibberish but not me.

Voice: Where is Paul?

Donald: He’s probably sulking in his room drinking that horrible Russian tea and vodka. I’m about to send him back to you. He’s stinking the whole joint up.

Voice: What is this word stingking?

Donald: Stinking! Smelly. Who heats up Borscht and sauerkraut on a hot plate all day anyways?

Voice sighs : Boss wants report.

Donald: Jeezz everybody is on my ass tonight.

Voice: Report!

Donald: I dunno. I didn’t really listen. That’s why I took the general with me.

Voice: Russia? Any words speaking about Russia or Ukraine?

Donald: Ha. Now that you mention it. No. They didn’t say anything about Russia. I wonder why?

Voice: Hmm

Donald scratches his head: Must be we don’t worry about you guys anymore.

Voice: Boss asks, deal still on?

Donald: Yeah yeah. The deals still good. You guys get Utah, I don’t know why you want it though. Did you know I couldn’t even get a pizza delivered to my plane?  I’m sitting on the tarmac at Salt Lake city. No pizza. I mean, whats up with that? I had to have a frozen chimichanga.

Voice: Goodnight.

Donald drops his phone on the table and returns to “The West Wing”  Man it’s gonna be so good – it’s gonna be yuuge.

Scene fades as we hear “Hail to the Chief” on the television.

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Scene opens in Trump Towers.
Trump is sitting at the head of a long stone table on his golden throne. He drinks thirstily from his tankard of Ovaltine and slams it down onto the table. “Listen up!” he cries.
The room goes quiet as he surveys his close team of confidants.  On his left sits Roger Ailes, Ailes is dressed in a Trump University sweatshirt and holds a plastic megaphone in his right hand. On Donald’s right is Gary Busey. Busey is wearing a bicycle helmet and has a wide dreamy smile on his face.  Anthony Senecal, Trump’s butler stands near Donald’s side.  The Trump children sit at the ‘kids table’ there are coloring books and a large pitcher of Orange kool-aid for them.
Melania Trump enters the room and begins to sit down next to Roger Ailes.

Donald: Melania, honey, why don’t you sit over here by me. Donald nods his head at Busey: Shove down Gary and let Melania sit there.

Ailes’s eyes track Melania as she walks around the table.

Donald: Roger! Eyes up, remember we talked about this.

Ailes snaps to attention in his seat raising the megaphone: USA – USA – USA!

Busey changes seats: Cool. Say Don, why is Alfred Hitchcock yelling at me?

Donald: Shut up Gary. Before we get started Melania is going to report on the office pool. Honey?

Melania stands: As you may remember we started a pool in June.

Ivanka giggles: Yuuunne

Donald points at Ivanka: That’s enough from you Missy. Go ahead honey.

Melania: .. so. Yes the pot is over two hundred dollars and this will be one of the rare times when the winningest man in America won’t win.
Melania curtsys: As you all know Donald was not allowed to bet — for obvious reasons.

Ailes: USA – USA – USA!

Busey gves Ailes the finger with both hands until Ailes stops yelling into his megaphone.

Donald raps his knuckles on the table. We gotta wrap this up quick. Paul’s on his way down.

Melania: The winner of the office pool on how long Paul would be the campaign manager is … Melania pauses for dramatic effect: Corey – Corey Lewandowski! Corey correctly guessed seven weeks.

Donald claps his hands: Fantastic, well since Corey isn’t here you can give me the dough and I’ll see that he gets it next time I see him.

Melania hands the money over to Donald and sits down.

Donald: Ok, when Paul gets down here – be good to him OK? He’s had a rough week and he’s got – well listen we all have things in our closet. And .. he does too. So he ..

Donald Jr.: Paul’s been in the closet?

Donald: Well, sure. He picked today as his day to reveal himself to us so …

Ivanka grins: You. Are. Shitting. Me!

Donald: Language! Thats twice young lady. Do you want me turn you over my knee?

Ailes groans and starts to lift the megaphone:

Donald reaches over and slaps Ailes on the side of his head.

Busey: Cool.

Paul Manafort enters the room.

Donald: Ah – here he is.

Manafort is dressed in a traditional red and beige Russian tunic over white muslin trousers. He sports a wide embroidered belt around his waist that matches the embroidered banner that forms the shirt collar.  He removes his Cossack fur hat and drops it on the table.

Everyone has gone quiet and stares at the man before them.

Donald clears his throat: As you know I am a great negotiator – no one makes better deals than I do.  Donald spreads his arms out as if to present the new Paul Manafort. I give you Count Pavlovic Manfred Manefort the 1st! The count will be my new administrations chief counsel on foreign affairs!

Count Manefort bows: It is a great honor.

The room remains quiet. No one knows what to say about this.

Busey breaks the silence. Say, do you like pizza Count?

Count Manefort: Uh, sure. It’s OK.

The room is filled with the pealing sound of a telephone bell. It is exceedingly loud, all eyes turn to the far wall of the conference room. A large beige porcelain telephone reminiscent of the 1950’s sits on a glass topped stand. It rings again.

Anthony starts over to answer it. Donald Jr. says: I thought that was an antique. Since when has it ever worked?

Busey: Yeah, it works. I told you I was ordering pizza. He snaps his fingers. I bet they are calling back to confirm the address.

Anthony holds the receiver out for Donald: They would like to speak with you Mr. Trump.

Donald turns his back on the room and speaks quietly into the phone.  We can hear parts of the conversation. .. didn’t order pizza .. no .. .. not a joke…. I can’t yet. Long pause as he listens to the voice on the other end:. .. not yet .. do you know how many of those damn hats I still have? Pause. Thousands. Yes yes .. OK yes .. I’ll get back to you. Hey .. hey have you read the book yet? Pause. Really? I sent you, like, twenty of ’em.
Pause. It’s called ‘The Art of the Deal’ .. whats that? Pause, Donald raises his voice: The Art of the Deal!

The scene fades as the phone conversation ends in another room with a similar 1950’s style telephone. The handset is slowly dropped into the cradle by a well manicured feminine hand.
As we go to black we hear a women hum “Hail to the Chief.”

 

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Scene opens in the Trump game room.  Reince Priebus and Mike Pence are sitting on a leather couch opposite Donald Trump. Trump is in his golden recliner. He is wearing gold pajamas with the Presidential seal on the pocket. The pajama feet say “Donald” “Trump” across the non slip bottoms. Priebus and Pence are sitting uncomfortably in business suits.
Paul Manafort walks in.

Donald: Paul! look who’s here!

Manafort nods to the men on the couch and feigns surprise.: Governor Pence, Reince. Nice to see you, what brings you here?

Donald: They’re here to learn from the master aren’t you boys?

The boys nod their heads:Yes!

Donald:  We’re having a sleep over. The guys are gonna follow me around for a few days and see if the Governor can pick up some speaking tips.  

Pence nods weakly: Yup, Lord knows I need it.

Donald: They also got me a new phone. He flashes it a Manafort. Gold of course – with my name across the back. It’s swell. 

Manafort smiles at the men on the couch. Well that’s nice.

Donald: I just tweeted about Obama, Hillary and the illuminati. It’s a good one, heck I had 9 characters left to spare.

Donald stares at his phone. Hmm.

Priebus: Something wrong Donald?

Donald: It looks right – but gee I usually get yuuge likes and retweets by now. 

Priebus pulls his own cell phone out and furiously taps out a text on his phone.

Pence leans forward: Say Donald – you promised we could watch “The Apprentice”
I sure would like to see you fire Gary Busey again. 

Donald continues to stare at his phone: Sure Sure.  Once Anthony gets here with my Ovaltine.

Donald’s face breaks into a wide smile. Ahh here we go – wow three thousand retweets just like that. Maybe I should go back to my old phone… this one’s slow or something.

Priebus nearly jumps off the couch: Naww, now lets not be hasty there Donald .. it just needed to warm up some.

Donald shrugs.  I suppose. Say Paul can you believe I’ve beat these guys three time playing “Words with Friends?” 

Manafort: I’m not surprised .. you do have the best words. 

Donald: Ha, yes I do – that’s a fact. You wouldn’t know it if you listened to the lame stream media.  I’m about to buy CNN just so I can fire that smart ass Cooper — I do like his hair though.

Donald talks into his phone: OK Google – who does Anderson Cooper’s hair? 

Manafort edges towards the door: So, I’m gonna turn in early. Gotta long day tomorrow. 

Donald: Wait a sec Paul. I thought maybe we’d work on my acceptance speech while the guys are here.

Manafort: Well, sure we can but the election is still three months away …

Donald: Not that – jeezz Paul. I already wrote that one.. no I’m thinking of the Nobel Prize. You know when I get that one.

Manafort: Oh – sure .. well I think. I’m not sure you are going to get the Nobel prize. 

Donald:  Why the hell not? Obama got it. 

Manafort looks at Priebus:

Priebus: Well Donald, you know there is a lot of .. a lot of .. uh variables and uh 

Donald: Ahh, OK. He wags his finger at them:  Sure. I should have known it.
It’s rigged isn’t it? 

Donald’s phone chirps: There are two Super cuts within one mile of your location. 

Scene fades as Donald’s butler Anthony come in with his Ovaltine. Anthony is humming “Hail to the Chief”

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Scene opens on the Trump campaign plane. Trump is at the table eating breakfast. He is reading the back of a Wheaties cereal box and chewing thoughtfully.  Paul Manafort walks into the scene.

Manafort: We land in twenty minutes sir.

Donald: Florida?

Manafort: Yes.

Donald: Ok this time lets get a picture of me playing golf. Lots of Presidents play golf.

Manafort: Well, yes thats true – but they are on vacation when they do.

Donald: Trump is always working and always on vacation. I’m Trump!

Manafort: Yes of course. Shall I find a NFL player for you to beat?

Donald changes the subject: The media is killing me over this baby thing. Does Megan have kids?

Manafort: Megan Kelly — from Fox?

Donald: Who else? Never mind, why is the media all over me about that noisy kid?

Manafort stands mute. He knows by now that he is not expected to answer.

Donald: Better yet, why isn’t the media talking to the mother? Like why aren’t they asking her about the kid’s nanny?

Manafort: Nanny, sir?

Donald: Yeah. Why didn’t she leave that kid with the nanny?

Manafort: Uhh…

Donald: It don’t matter – Melania and I have a plan. She loves kids you know.

Manafort: Yes sir. I know she does.

Donald: She called our Nanny and she is going to be at the next event.

Manafort: Sir?

Donald: Thats right, Lets see Crooked Hillary beat that! 
Trump makes a fake marquee with his hands:  Trump campaign provides free nanny service!

Manafort: Sir, your children are grown .. you still – does she still work for you?

Donald: Well, Melania still has Nanny’s passport in our safe .. so yeah.

Manafort: Her passport? Manafort shakes his head: So, OK.  I would think its been years since … Nanny has cared for any children,..

Donald: Nah ,, it;s like riding a bike. Besides how hard is it to mix whiskey, milk and a benedryl? 

Manafort giggles a nervous laugh.

Donald: We’ll stack ’em up out where we park the limos. 

Manafort: This seems risky – you might lose someone’s child .. that might actually …. Manafort stops talking. He has a blank look on his face as he imagines the campaign coming to an end.

Donald: Stop worrying. We wont lose a kid. We’re gonna issue claim checks. You know like checking your coat at the restaurant. 

Manafort’s mouth moves but nothing comes out.

Scene ends with “Hail to the Chief” playing over the plane’s intercom.

 

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Scene opens on the Trump game room. Donald is sitting on a leopard skin couch next to his butler Anthony Senecal. They are playing Donkey Kong on an enormous flat screen TV. Donald is wearing gold silk pajamas, Senecal is dressed in a three piece suit, sporting a red carnation. His shoes shine brilliantly in the slowly pulsating light emanating from the disco ball that hangs above their heads.

Paul Manafort walks in. He is disheveled and appears to be exhausted: You called for me sir?

Donald: Sit down Paul, take a load off – you look like you rolled down a hill.

Manafort pulls the knot of his tie up against his throat: I’ll stand sir. What can I do for you?

Donald: Hey you wanna play the winner? 

Manafort: Uh no thank you sir, its been a long —

Donald: Which will be me. Right Tony?

Senecal: Look at this –
The ape in the game sits back on his heels and scratches his head.
Senecal snorts: Reminds me of Obama. 

Donald and his butler laugh a little and then Donald says: Say Tony my Ovaltines nearly gone. 

Senecal slowly stands up and leaves the room.

Donald: I thought you’d like to know that our problem with the Khans is solved.

Manafort: Really?

Donald smiles at Manafort expectantly.
Manafort narrows his eyes …

Donald tosses the game controller on the coffee table: Well, don’t you wanna know how?

Manafort stands mute.

Donald: Well?

Manafort: I’m thinking…

Donald pushes forward: Someone bought the building they’re living in. Eviction notices go out tomorrow. 

Manafort: Oh Mr. Trump .. you can’t do that. 

Donald: I didn’t buy it. Gimme some credit.

Manafort: Well then who did?

Donald jerks his thumb at the door that Senecal had just walked through:  Tony bought it.

Manafort: Tony?

Donald.  Yeah, he’s a hell of an investor. I think he’s gonna knock it down and put in a Starbucks. Trimmed out in gold I heard.

Manafort: This can’t .. Mr Trump.

Donald: Relax hey? Probably a regular Starbucks and maybe a
Chick-fil-a.  I love their chicken. Anyways don’t say anything to Tony OK? He’s shy about his investments – very private guy. 

Manafort: This seems risky sir. If the press gets wind of this.

Donald: Nah, those clowns are gonna be so busy looking for an new place to live. Hey – maybe they will move back home to ISIS.

Manafort: The Khans are American citizens Mr. Trump.

Donald: You don’t say. Well, then they can move back to Idaho or wherever they came from.

Manafort sighs: They’re from Pakistan.

Trumps throws his hands up: Which is it Paul? Make up your mind. 

Manafort shoulders slump:  Mr. Trump – I just …

Donald: I know.  I know. I have the best ideas didn’t I tell you?

Senecal returns with Donald’s Ovaltine and they resume their game.

Donald: Hey .. I haven’t got the turkey hands from Melania’s new driver yet. Get after him – tell him i need them by tomorrow. 

Manafort:Turkey hands? I don’t know .. Mr Trump. What are turkey hands?

Donald looks at Paul disgustingly: Where did you go to school Paul? I’m worried about your lack of basic knowledge.

Manafort: Melania’s driver? Sir. I imagine he’s licensed. I  —

Donald: Turkey hands .. Donald puts his left hand out flat on the table. 

Manafort shrugs.

Senecal answers:  You put your hand on a piece of paper and trace around your fingers with a pencil – looks like a turkey. What a dummkopf!

Donald nods his head in agreement. Yup

Manafort:  Why do you need that ..oh wait… 

Donald digs his elbow into Senecal’s ribs. Remember the gardener with the missing fingers?  Ha. That was a hoot.

Senecal smiles at the memory as he and the ape jump four barrels in a row.

Scene fades to the sound of Hail to the Chief …..

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Scene opens in the Trump Library.
Magazine racks stand in the center of the room lined with issues featuring  Mr. Trumps face on the main page.
Donald is standing for a portrait. He is wearing gold satin pants and a Huey Lewis tee-shirt. We see in the portrait that he his dressed in a business suit standing behind a podium with the Presidential seal on it. An artist stands with his back to the camera, he is dressed in typical artist attire including the jaunty French beret. He is brushing the trademark tan onto Mr. Trumps canvas likeness.

Paul Manafort enters the room. He is carrying a brown leather notebook. Good morning Mr. Trump.
Donald: Morning Paul, hey you  remember Pablo. right? He’s my official artist. This painting will likely be in my Presidential Library. I’m thinking Atlantic City. What do you think?
Manafort: Good morning Pablo.
Artist mumbles: Not Pablo, my name is Richard.
Donald: Remember what I said Pablo, get this one right and I’ll pay you for the last one too.
Manafort pulls a stool up and opening his notebook asks: You wanted to speak to me?
Donald: Yeah, Melania and I watched Sharknado and Sharknado 2 last night. Have you seen it?
Manafort: Uh .. no.
Donald: Its fantastic I tell you. Yuuge. She’s gonna go out and get three and four so we can watch it tonight. You should come – we’ve got that Russian vodka you like.
Manafort: Uh, well I’ve got to go to New York this morning. I’m scheduled on Blitzer’s show.
Donald: Oh yeah .. well say hi to Wolf. Great hair. Fantastic. So anyways these movies are yuuge. See its a tornado — so you got that – its fantastic, I tell you. Then you see these sharks. Ha Ha. Sharks come riding in on these tornado waves. Its an amazing thing, I tell you. I’ve got Miller on it.
Manafort: Miller?
Donald looks at Paul quizzically for a moment and then laughs:  Ha, no the real one. Steven, not John. Remember I hired him last month? Communication director. Little snot that keeps deleting my tweets?
Any ways — I’m thinking we put together a movie.
Manafort leans forward: Wait, what?
Donald: Great idea huh? I have all the best ones. We’ll call it “Trumpnado.”
Manafort sits with his mouth open.
Donald: See, we can have the tornado tear up Pennsylvania Ave right up capital hill. I come out of the clouds and kick Ryan’s ass and throw Obama out into the street.  It’ll be yugge I tell you. Classic. A box office hit!
Manafort: Uhh …
Donald: See if you can work it into the interview with Wolf today.
Manafort: I don’t think I can work that in.
Donald: Sure you can.
Manafort: No sir, I can’t.
Donald puffs his cheeks out and scratches his head looking off into the distance. He is consulting with himself on this. A large long lock of hair slips down the side of his head.
Manafort lowers his head and waits.
Donald snaps his fingers: OK, heres what we do. Call up Jeffery Lord and then Christie. Tell ’em I’m giving five hundred bucks to the first one that mentions Trumpnado on the air.
Manafort: I’m not sure that’s a good idea, sir …
Trump: No, it’ll work. Trust me. Christie’s starving out there.
Five hundred ‘s more than enough.  You want a side bet? Like with the David Duke thing? My moneys on Lord for this one. Christie’s moving slow lately. We’re gonna win this thing I promise you.

Scene ends with a hairdresser putting Donald’s hair back together, a cloud of hairspray surrounds his head as “Hail to the Chief” plays in the background.