Scene opens in Trump Tower.
Donald , Roger Ailes, and Gary Busey are at the table eating ice cream and cake. Donald is wearing a golden bib under his chin. Gary Busey is wearing his favorite “Good Times” bicycle helmet. Roger Ailes is dressed in a baby blue pajama onesey looking at the ceiling through his cardboard megaphone.
Kellyanne Conway walks into the room. She is followed by two bluebirds and a handful of butterflies.
Kellyanne sing song: It’s time for your debate prep Mr. Trump.
Seeing the cake and ice cream she asks: Ohh goody, is it somebody’s birthday?
Donald: Nope. We are celebrating.
Kellyanne: Celebrating?
Donald: Yeah, you bet. I called it.
Kellyanne: Called it?
Ailes shouts into his megaphone: da bomb – da bomb – da bomb!
Donald: Yeah. Just before I got off the plane Saturday night Rudy calls me and says “Hey a bomb just went off in the city.“
Kellyanne: Ohh
Donald: I know right? So I went out there and told the people that a bomb had gone off in New York city.
Donald scooped up a mouthful of ice cream and then points it at Kellyanne: That’s leadership right there, lets see Obama do that!
Ailes: da bomb – da bomb – da bomb!
Kellyanne: Mr. Trump, I don’t think this is a good idea. Lot of people were injured.
Donald: Yeah, yeah I know. No one died. What a loser this terrorist is. Some of those crybabies are complaining about what I said. Hillary had her chance. Ha. Now she can’t say Islamic terrorist OR bomb. Whats next?
Kellyanne: Sir …
Donald snaps his fingers: Hey that’s what I’ll do during the debate. I’ll challenge her to say some hard words, like particularly. I trip over that some times but I’m sure I can say it right. I have the best words.
Busey: Par – nick u .. particle -ey,
Donald: Or Schlamozzle – if she mangles that maybe she loses the Jewish vote.
Busey: Schla – nozzle, shsoop shoop.
Donald taps the table in front of Busey: Eat your ice cream Gary.
Kellyanne: I don’t know if that’ll work Mr. Trump.
Donald: Ok well, I’ve also been hitting her hard on this terrorism angle. You know, talking about how the Secretary of State is responsible for terrorists attacks.
Kellyanne. Ahh, (nods head) OK so that explains why I have thirty five messages from Condoleezza Rice.
Donald: Condoleezza? She’s the smart, pretty one isn’t she?
Kellyanne: One?
Donald: You know.
Kellyanne puts her hands on her hips: No, Mr. Trump I don’t.
Donald: What? I gotta say it?
Kellyanne stamps her perfect size two foot on the floor. Yes!
Donald looks over at Gary says OK and then lowers his voice: ollege Cay, raduates, Gay.
Kellyanne groans:
Busey kicks his feet under the table: ollege Cay, ollege Cay!
Steve Bannon walks into the room: I’ve got the sprinkles! I had to drive all over the city to get white ones Lets get this party rollin!
Scene ends when Donald’s phone ringtone begins chiming “Hail to the Chief”