or
Orange Is The New Red.
Scene opens on the Trump game room. Donald is sitting on a leopard skin couch next to his butler Anthony Senecal. They are playing Donkey Kong on an enormous flat screen TV. Donald is wearing gold silk pajamas, Senecal is dressed in a three piece suit, sporting a red carnation. His shoes shine brilliantly in the slowly pulsating light emanating from the disco ball that hangs above their heads.
Paul Manafort walks in. He is disheveled and appears to be exhausted: You called for me sir?
Donald: Sit down Paul, take a load off – you look like you rolled down a hill.
Manafort pulls the knot of his tie up against his throat: I’ll stand sir. What can I do for you?
Donald: Hey you wanna play the winner?
Manafort: Uh no thank you sir, its been a long —
Donald: Which will be me. Right Tony?
Senecal: Look at this –
The ape in the game sits back on his heels and scratches his head.
Senecal snorts: Reminds me of Obama.
Donald and his butler laugh a little and then Donald says: Say Tony my Ovaltines nearly gone.
Senecal slowly stands up and leaves the room.
Donald: I thought you’d like to know that our problem with the Khans is solved.
Manafort: Really?
Donald smiles at Manafort expectantly.
Manafort narrows his eyes …
Donald tosses the game controller on the coffee table: Well, don’t you wanna know how?
Manafort stands mute.
Donald: Well?
Manafort: I’m thinking…
Donald pushes forward: Someone bought the building they’re living in. Eviction notices go out tomorrow.
Manafort: Oh Mr. Trump .. you can’t do that.
Donald: I didn’t buy it. Gimme some credit.
Manafort: Well then who did?
Donald jerks his thumb at the door that Senecal had just walked through: Tony bought it.
Manafort: Tony?
Donald. Yeah, he’s a hell of an investor. I think he’s gonna knock it down and put in a Starbucks. Trimmed out in gold I heard.
Manafort: This can’t .. Mr Trump.
Donald: Relax hey? Probably a regular Starbucks and maybe a
Chick-fil-a. I love their chicken. Anyways don’t say anything to Tony OK? He’s shy about his investments – very private guy.
Manafort: This seems risky sir. If the press gets wind of this.
Donald: Nah, those clowns are gonna be so busy looking for an new place to live. Hey – maybe they will move back home to ISIS.
Manafort: The Khans are American citizens Mr. Trump.
Donald: You don’t say. Well, then they can move back to Idaho or wherever they came from.
Manafort sighs: They’re from Pakistan.
Trumps throws his hands up: Which is it Paul? Make up your mind.
Manafort shoulders slump: Mr. Trump – I just …
Donald: I know. I know. I have the best ideas didn’t I tell you?
Senecal returns with Donald’s Ovaltine and they resume their game.
Donald: Hey .. I haven’t got the turkey hands from Melania’s new driver yet. Get after him – tell him i need them by tomorrow.
Manafort:Turkey hands? I don’t know .. Mr Trump. What are turkey hands?
Donald looks at Paul disgustingly: Where did you go to school Paul? I’m worried about your lack of basic knowledge.
Manafort: Melania’s driver? Sir. I imagine he’s licensed. I —
Donald: Turkey hands .. Donald puts his left hand out flat on the table.
Manafort shrugs.
Senecal answers: You put your hand on a piece of paper and trace around your fingers with a pencil – looks like a turkey. What a dummkopf!
Donald nods his head in agreement. Yup
Manafort: Why do you need that ..oh wait…
Donald digs his elbow into Senecal’s ribs. Remember the gardener with the missing fingers? Ha. That was a hoot.
Senecal smiles at the memory as he and the ape jump four barrels in a row.
Scene fades to the sound of Hail to the Chief …..