or
Orange Is The New Red.
Scene opens on the Trump campaign plane. Trump is at the table eating breakfast. He is reading the back of a Wheaties cereal box and chewing thoughtfully. Paul Manafort walks into the scene.
Manafort: We land in twenty minutes sir.
Donald: Florida?
Manafort: Yes.
Donald: Ok this time lets get a picture of me playing golf. Lots of Presidents play golf.
Manafort: Well, yes thats true – but they are on vacation when they do.
Donald: Trump is always working and always on vacation. I’m Trump!
Manafort: Yes of course. Shall I find a NFL player for you to beat?
Donald changes the subject: The media is killing me over this baby thing. Does Megan have kids?
Manafort: Megan Kelly — from Fox?
Donald: Who else? Never mind, why is the media all over me about that noisy kid?
Manafort stands mute. He knows by now that he is not expected to answer.
Donald: Better yet, why isn’t the media talking to the mother? Like why aren’t they asking her about the kid’s nanny?
Manafort: Nanny, sir?
Donald: Yeah. Why didn’t she leave that kid with the nanny?
Manafort: Uhh…
Donald: It don’t matter – Melania and I have a plan. She loves kids you know.
Manafort: Yes sir. I know she does.
Donald: She called our Nanny and she is going to be at the next event.
Manafort: Sir?
Donald: Thats right, Lets see Crooked Hillary beat that!
Trump makes a fake marquee with his hands: Trump campaign provides free nanny service!
Manafort: Sir, your children are grown .. you still – does she still work for you?
Donald: Well, Melania still has Nanny’s passport in our safe .. so yeah.
Manafort: Her passport? Manafort shakes his head: So, OK. I would think its been years since … Nanny has cared for any children,..
Donald: Nah ,, it;s like riding a bike. Besides how hard is it to mix whiskey, milk and a benedryl?
Manafort giggles a nervous laugh.
Donald: We’ll stack ’em up out where we park the limos.
Manafort: This seems risky – you might lose someone’s child .. that might actually …. Manafort stops talking. He has a blank look on his face as he imagines the campaign coming to an end.
Donald: Stop worrying. We wont lose a kid. We’re gonna issue claim checks. You know like checking your coat at the restaurant.
Manafort’s mouth moves but nothing comes out.
Scene ends with “Hail to the Chief” playing over the plane’s intercom.