Adventures in Trumpland, vol 5

or
Orange Is The New Red.

Scene opens in the Trump game room.  Reince Priebus and Mike Pence are sitting on a leather couch opposite Donald Trump. Trump is in his golden recliner. He is wearing gold pajamas with the Presidential seal on the pocket. The pajama feet say “Donald” “Trump” across the non slip bottoms. Priebus and Pence are sitting uncomfortably in business suits.
Paul Manafort walks in.

Donald: Paul! look who’s here!

Manafort nods to the men on the couch and feigns surprise.: Governor Pence, Reince. Nice to see you, what brings you here?

Donald: They’re here to learn from the master aren’t you boys?

The boys nod their heads:Yes!

Donald:  We’re having a sleep over. The guys are gonna follow me around for a few days and see if the Governor can pick up some speaking tips.  

Pence nods weakly: YupLord knows I need it.

Donald: They also got me a new phone. He flashes it a Manafort. Gold of course – with my name across the back. It’s swell. 

Manafort smiles at the men on the couch. Well that’s nice.

Donald: I just tweeted about Obama, Hillary and the illuminati. It’s a good one, heck I had 9 characters left to spare.

Donald stares at his phone. Hmm.

Priebus: Something wrong Donald?

Donald: It looks right – but gee I usually get yuuge likes and retweets by now. 

Priebus pulls his own cell phone out and furiously taps out a text on his phone.

Pence leans forward: Say Donald – you promised we could watch “The Apprentice”
I sure would like to see you fire Gary Busey again. 

Donald continues to stare at his phone: Sure Sure.  Once Anthony gets here with my Ovaltine.

Donald’s face breaks into a wide smile. Ahh here we go – wow three thousand retweets just like that. Maybe I should go back to my old phone… this one’s slow or something.

Priebus nearly jumps off the couch: Naww, now lets not be hasty there Donald .. it just needed to warm up some.

Donald shrugs.  I suppose. Say Paul can you believe I’ve beat these guys three time playing “Words with Friends?” 

Manafort: I’m not surprised .. you do have the best words. 

Donald: Ha, yes I do – that’s a fact. You wouldn’t know it if you listened to the lame stream media.  I’m about to buy CNN just so I can fire that smart ass Cooper — I do like his hair though.

Donald talks into his phone: OK Google – who does Anderson Cooper’s hair? 

Manafort edges towards the door: So, I’m gonna turn in early. Gotta long day tomorrow. 

Donald: Wait a sec Paul. I thought maybe we’d work on my acceptance speech while the guys are here.

Manafort: Well, sure we can but the election is still three months away …

Donald: Not that – jeezz Paul. I already wrote that one.. no I’m thinking of the Nobel Prize. You know when I get that one.

Manafort: Oh – sure .. well I think. I’m not sure you are going to get the Nobel prize. 

Donald:  Why the hell not? Obama got it. 

Manafort looks at Priebus:

Priebus: Well Donald, you know there is a lot of .. a lot of .. uh variables and uh 

Donald: Ahh, OK. He wags his finger at them:  Sure. I should have known it.
It’s rigged isn’t it? 

Donald’s phone chirps: There are two Super cuts within one mile of your location. 

Scene fades as Donald’s butler Anthony come in with his Ovaltine. Anthony is humming “Hail to the Chief”